If there is one word I have become overly familiar with since deciding to homeschool, it is socialization. I get this question all the time...."Oh, you're homeschooling? What about socialization?"
It's a fair question.
Before I settled down and had a family, I worked at a community college. I remember seeing a wide variety of students roaming the halls and then one day, I saw a child carrying a huge backpack going into a classroom. I curiously asked a guidance counselor what sort of class someone so young would be taking (turns out the girl was 12 years old) and the counselor replied "calculus". My face must have shown the bewilderment I felt because he quickly added, "she's homeschooled."
That was my idea of someone homeschooled. A homeschooler, I believed, was a child raised in an ultra conservative household who wears a lot of denim skirts, if a girl, or button down shirts, if a boy, and excelled academically far beyond their peers. In my mind, I imagined them to be like Doogie Houser.
I also believed that these students had no friends and would be shocked and appalled when they were unleashed into society at the age of eighteen. Afterall, their parents were raising them in a bubble. How would they ever be able to make it on their own?
Well, maybe there are some families out there like that, but I have to say that in my experience they have been more difficult to find than I thought. In fact, all of the homeschooling families I know are completely normal (gasp!). Some are ultra conservative, but there are just as many who are not and elect to do the "unschooling" approach. Some homeschool out of religious reasons, some because they don't approve of the cirriculum in schools, some just because their children excel better in a one-on-one sitaution, some because their children have special needs, and some a combination of one or all of these.
The point is, there is no "one size fits all" type of description when you're talking about homeschooling.
This also means there is no "one size fits all" when it comes to homeschooled children. Some, like those in any school, are very shy and prefer to spend their free time reading a good book while others, just as in any school, are more outgoing and are active in their community (sports, drama, art, ect...). There are plenty of homeschool support systems throughout the country that encourage homeschool families to teach together, as well as arrange playdates, or social outings together.
But that doesn't mean that all homeschool kids only have homeschool kids as friends. Plenty become friends with kids on their soccer teams, or at their dance classes, or anywhere else that any "normal" kid makes friends. They have plenty of socializing opportunities, but just like any kid in any family, it's really what you make of those situations. There's no guarantee that sending your child to school will "socialize" them just like your homeschool child isn't doomed to be "weird".
At a homeschooling convention, a former homeschooling mother of four grown kids went up to the podium and asked, "What is the purpose of school?" We thought it was a silly question. Obviously, the answer was education. We send our kids to school so they can learn. One woman in the audience said, "to learn." Simple answer to a simple question. The speaker nodded and said, "Right, the purpose of school is to learn, to become educated. Yet, whenever anyone finds out that you are homeschooling, the first question isn't about curriculum or lesson plans. It's about socialization. What does that say about our society now-a-days?"
Now, I'm not putting anyone down or saying the topic of socialization doesn't have value. It does. I just think that her point is interesting and one that warrants some thought.
What about you? What do you think?
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